When it comes to love, Sigmund Freud got it right when he said, “We are never as vulnerable as when we love“. To love and be loved is one of our deepest longings and can all too often be one of our greatest sources of suffering.
Because of this, many people have resigned themselves to the belief that a solid relationship will always be out of reach for them. Who can blame them either given all of the myths we are taught about love and how it is modelled to us?
But a strong relationship should not be considered a luxury or only for the lucky. It is something we all can have.
Getting to the root of key relationship issues
Love demands the reassurance of touch and affirmation. Most fights couples have are protests over an emotional disconnection. Underneath the distress, partners are desperate to know “Are you there for me? Can I rely on you?“
Safe attachment and bonding with your partner, however, will decrease fear and can even improve health, increase happiness and lead to great sex.
Helping couples to really see each other
To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow - this is a human offering that can border on miraculous. - Elizabeth Gilbert
In both my personal and professional experience, there are three key steps for a successful, meaningful and fulfilling relationship these are:
As relationship expert and psychologist Sue Johnson says, “It is not familiarity or time that kills desire and passion, it is the lack of emotional safety and attuned connection.“
Using emotionally focused therapy (EFT) as your relationship counsellor, I create a safe space for you and your partner to break down the walls and really see one another.
This allows you to slow down, share with each other emotionally, speak the unspoken, and discover how your negative and repetitive interaction cycle is maintained in order to build a stronger more fulfilling relationship.
We can then begin to re-kindle the spark, slowly unfold the unforgiven, and to get a glimpse of how the future might look if you work towards it as a team.
Couple sessions give you the time and structure to speak and think freely, to slow down, turn into yourself and your emotional experience and share this with your partner. You will find they can be playful and earnest; light hearted and at times poignant; confronting and revealing.
Isn’t it time you created the loving and fulfilling relationship both you want and need? Book your couples session today at firstname.lastname@example.org.